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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.
What do you get when you do that? A family is at the dinner table. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions. You see them and they make you cry.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Free sex tonight! A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left? Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?
I mean male or female? Deer run too fast. Hard to catch. Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss! She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute? A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place? Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?
You're getting mayo all over my bed! After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face.
He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts. Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin. A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her.
All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo! Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Submit Joke. Credit Joke to:. Make Anonymous. Woody on Woody Woody Allen.