A sexual fantasy or erotic fantasy is a mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person's sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal. Anything that may give rise to a sexual arousal may also produce a sexual fantasy, and sexual arousal may in turn give rise to fantasies. Sexual fantasies are nearly universal,  being reported in many societies across the globe. However, because of the nature of some fantasies, the actual putting of such fantasies into action is far less common, due to cultural, social, moral, and religious constraints. Some people find it convenient to act out fantasies through sexual roleplay.
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You see, most women have a lot of secret sexual fantasies that men do not know about.
- When passion absorbs you, there is no way you can resist it, these two lovers have no limits, they are having sex right in the street, in the rain!
- When you masturbate, or simply have sexual thoughts, you probably have certain fantasies that really get you off.
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- The nature of sexual fantasies is they push the boundaries a bit, letting you imagine situations that occur infrequently, if at all, and exploring the depths of your desires.
A sexual fantasy or erotic fantasy is a mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person's sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal.
Anything that may give rise to a sexual arousal may also produce a sexual fantasy, and sexual arousal may in turn give rise to fantasies. Sexual fantasies are nearly universal,  being reported in many societies across the globe. However, because of the nature of some fantasies, the actual putting of such fantasies into action is far less common, due to cultural, social, moral, and religious constraints.
Some people find it convenient to act out fantasies through sexual roleplay. A person may find validation of a sexual fantasy by viewing the depiction or discussion of the fantasy in film, usually of a pornographic nature. A fantasy may be a positive or negative experience, or even both.
It may be in response to a past experience and can influence future sexual behavior. A person may not wish to enact a sexual fantasy in real life, and since the process is entirely imaginary, they are not limited to acceptable or practical fantasies, which can provide information on the psychological processes behind sexual behavior. Sexual fantasy can also pertain to a genre of literature, film or work of art. Such works may be appreciated for their aesthetics , though many people may feel uncomfortable with such works.
For example, women in prison films may be described as sexual fantasies, as are pornographic films. In the case of films, the term may describe a part of the film, such as a fantasy scene or sequence. Besides pornographic films, a number of mainstream films have included sexual fantasy scenes, such as Business Is Business , Amarcord , American Beauty and others.
In many cases, the use of fantasy scenes enables the inclusion of material into a work indicating the sexualised mental state of a character. It is difficult to objectively identify and measure the nature of sexual fantasies, so that many studies deal with conscious fantasies when a person is awake, using one of three techniques: . To measure the reliability of a person's reporting of fantasies, researchers may compare a person's reported sexual arousal against actual measures of arousal,  using techniques such as vaginal photoplethysmography , penile strain gauges , or other tools, such as genital pulse amplitude, genital blood volume , and heart rate.
As with studies of sex in general, samples used in studies may be too small, not be fully random, or not fully representative of a population. This makes similarities between studies especially important.
The scenarios for sexual fantasies vary greatly between individuals and are influenced by personal desires and experiences, and can range from the mundane to the bizarre.
Fantasies are frequently used to escape real-life sexual restraints by imagining dangerous or illegal scenarios, such as rape , castration , or kidnapping. Sexual fantasies are increasingly viewed as a necessary component to a healthy relationship.
In this sense, researchers assert that fantasising about extra-marital, or multiple-partner sex is positively correlated with long-term partnerships. As such, sexual fantasies are viewed as means to combat sexual dissatisfaction. Sexual fantasising may also be used to settle relational hardships, as opposed to sexual dissatisfaction.
For instance, women from disturbed marriages were found to fantasise significantly more often than happily married women. As such, fantasies allow individuals to enter a new realm e. The purpose and function of sexual fantasies are explained rather differently from an evolutionary perspective.
Accordingly, they might engage in sex through a longing for sexual intimacy, and increase the frequency of sexual behaviour under conditions that challenge the status of their relationship.
Patterns of sexual behaviour include emotion free sex with casual partners, engaging in sex to promote oneself, and feelings of detachment during intercourse. It is noted that anxious attachment individuals report significantly more instances of sexual fantasising, and portray the self as feeble, dependable and powerless.
As such, sexual fantasies serve the primary function of fulfilling interpersonal goals through the mode of mental representation. Evolutionary theory provides another interesting explanation as to the purpose and function of gender differences in sexual fantasies. Research literature states that women are more likely to prioritise their own physical and emotional sensations, where men conjure images of sexual partners.
Women are also more likely to fantasise about a single individual with whom they have shared history, or those whom they wish to pursue a long-term relationship. Throughout the course of time, it has proved advantageous for the male to copulate with young and fertile females.
By comparison, females are driven to reproduce on the basis of parental investment, and a quality gene pool possessed by the male. It also follows that where males project outwardly, viewing women and a means to obtain sexual pleasure, women have become conditioned to remain passive in this role.
They do so under close scrutiny of male sexual attention,  to fantasise a specific and special partner. A person may have no desire to carry out a fantasy; people often use fantasies to help plan out future sexual encounters. During sexual contact, some people can use their fantasies to "turn off" undesirable aspects of an act. Many couples share their fantasies to feel closer and gain more intimacy and trust, or simply to become more aroused or effect a more powerful physical response.
Fantasies may also be used as a part of sex therapy. They can enhance insufficiently exciting sexual acts to promote higher levels of sexual arousal and release. A study that looked at married women indicated that sexual fantasies helped them achieve arousal and orgasm. The incidence of sexual fantasies is nearly universal,  but vary by gender, age, sexual orientation, and society. However, because of a reliance on retrospective recall, as well as response bias and taboo , there is an inherent difficulty in measuring the frequency of types of fantasies.
According to a United States survey, the incidence of certain fantasies is higher than the actual performance. The sexes have been found to contrast with respect to where their fantasies originate from. Men tend to fantasize about past sexual experiences, whereas women are more likely to conjure an imaginary lover or sexual encounter that they have not experienced previously. On the other hand, women's fantasies tend to be more focused upon mental sexual stimulation and contain more emotion and connection.
Much research has been conducted which has highlighted several gender differences in sexual fantasies. Some of the patterns which have frequently emerged include men's greater tendency to report sexual fantasies falling in the following categories: exploratory, intimate, impersonal, and sadomasochism. Women are also likely to report fantasies involving the same-sex partner, or those with a famous person,  although both sexes have been found to prefer intimate fantasies over the other three types outlined, including fantasies of oral sex and sex outdoors.
Another way the sexes differ is that men are much more likely to fantasize about having multiple sexual partners i. The sexes also differ in terms of how much they fantasize about dominance and submission. Men fantasize equally often about dominance and submission, whereas women fantasize about submission more frequently than dominance. Sexual fantasies may instead vary as a result of individual differences, such as personality or learning experiences, and not gender per se.
The age of first experiencing a sexual fantasy has also been found to differ between the sexes. Males are likely to report this at a younger age, typically between the years of 11 and 13,  and describe these as being more explicit in content. For instance, younger men have been found to endorse more fantasies with multiple partners, a trend which declines with age, whilst homosexual fantasies increase slightly. Meanwhile, for women, fantasies with strangers and same-sex partners remain relatively stable across the lifespan.
Sex differences have also been found with regard to paraphilic fantasies i. Examples of paraphilic sexual fantasies include incest , voyeurism , transvestic fetishism , sex with animals see zoophilia , and pedophilia.
Unusual sexual fantasies are more common in men, with fantasies of urinating on their sexual partner and being urinated on being significantly higher among males. Paraphilic sexual fantasies in females include sexual sadism, exhibitionism , and pedophilia. Sexual fantasies may be more likely to be executed in contemporary society due to more liberalized attitudes towards the previously taboo topic of sex, and increased awareness of the variety of sexual experiences that now exist. Since numerous variables influence sexual fantasy, the differences between gender can be examined through multiple theoretical frameworks.
Social constructionism predicts that sexual socialisation is a strong predictor of sexual fantasy and that gender differences are the result of social influences. A social constructionist explanation may say that this is because women are raised to be chaste and selective with men, whereas evolutionary theory may state that ancestral women preferred the reproductive security of having one partner, such that being faithful to him will result in a greater likelihood of him investing resources in her and her offspring, an idea which is still ingrained in modern women today.
The theory suggests that this mating strategy may have been advantageous for our female ancestors, such that affiliation with a high status male increases offspring survival rate via protection and provision. In , Masters and Johnson carried out one of the first studies on sexual fantasy in homosexual men and women, though their data-collection method is unclear. Their sample consisted of 30 gay men and lesbians, and they found that the five most common fantasies for homosexual men were images of sexual anatomy primarily the penis and buttocks , forced sexual encounters, an idyllic setting for sex, group sex, and sex with women.
A study found that homosexual men preferred unspecified sexual activity with other men, oral sex, and sex with another man not previously involved. In both studies, homosexual and heterosexual men shared similar fantasies, but with genders switched. It found that when compared to heterosexual male fantasies, homosexual males were more focused on exploratory, intimate, and impersonal fantasies.
There were no differences in sadomasochistic fantasies. In general, there was little difference in the top fantasies of homosexual versus heterosexual males. At the time of the study, homosexuality was illegal. A study compared heterosexual and homosexual women in the Los Angeles metropolitan area and found some differences in the content of their fantasies. In gender-specific findings, homosexual women had more fantasies about specific parts of a woman face, breasts, clitoris, vagina, buttocks, arms or hair , while heterosexual women had more fantasies about specific parts of a man's body face, penis, buttocks, arms or hair.
Homosexual women also had more fantasies of "delighting many women"; there was no significant difference when subjects were asked if they fantasized about delighting many men.
There was no significant difference in responses to questions that were not gender-specific. Rape or ravishment is a common sexual fantasy among both men and women, either generically or as an ingredient in a particular sexual scenario. Some studies have found that women tend to fantasize about being forced into sex more commonly than men.
Other studies have found the theme, but with lower frequency and popularity. However, these female fantasies in no way imply that the subject desires to be raped in reality—the fantasies often contain romantic images where the woman imagines herself being seduced , and the male that she imagines is desirable. Most importantly, the woman remains in full control of her fantasy. The fantasies do not usually involve the woman getting hurt.
Conversely, some women who have been sexually victimized in the past report unwanted sexual fantasies, similar to flashbacks of their victimization. They are realistic, and the woman may recall the physical and psychological pain involved. The most frequently cited hypothesis for why women fantasize of being forced into some sexual activity is that the fantasy avoids societally induced guilt—the woman does not have to admit responsibility for her sexual desires and behavior.
A study by Moreault and Follingstad was consistent with this hypothesis, and found that women with high levels of sex guilt were more likely to report fantasy themed around being overpowered, dominated, and helpless. In contrast, Pelletier and Herold used a different measure of guilt and found no correlation. Other research suggests that women who report forced sex fantasies have a more positive attitude towards sexuality, contradicting the guilt hypothesis. Additionally, it said that force fantasies are clearly not the most common or the most frequent.
Social views on sexual fantasy and sex in general differ throughout the world. The privacy of a person's fantasy is influenced greatly by social conditions. Because of the taboo status of sexual fantasies in many places around the world, open discussion—or even acknowledgment—is forbidden, forcing fantasies to stay private.
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These Are The Most Common Sexual Fantasies
Verified by Psychology Today. Fighting Fear. Recently, a man came to me feeling guilty about a lot of things. He felt guilty about the fact that he does not pray properly which meant, evidently, that he gets distracted sometimes when he prays before going to sleep. He would like to be able to control his thoughts. Also, he feels guilty that he sometimes thinks of other women when he has sex with his wife. By coincidence, I saw another patient a few months previously—a woman—who got angry at her husband when he made a similar confession to her.
He sometimes pictured in his mind the wife of a neighbor while he and his wife were having intercourse. It is hard to know how to respond to those persons who feel bad about doing or thinking things that are commonplace and might, therefore, be presumed to be normal. Certainly, there is no evidence that having sexual fantasies during sex or at other times leads to any sort of untoward or abnormal behavior. More on this later. On the other hand, it seems injudicious to comment about every sexual fantasy that pops into mind.
None of this is conducive to enjoying sex—yet sexual fantasies are engaged in precisely because they make sex more enjoyable. Certainly, there are some who do not have sex at all, as well as those who do not desire it, so it is not unthinkable that some of them have no sexual fantasies either. Psychiatrists such as myself are in a somewhat privileged position in that even these men and women sometimes admit confidentially to their therapists what they would not own up to to others.
One psychiatrist has commented to the effect that there are usually four people having sex at the same time: the two people occupying space in the bed and the two people they're thinking of. But by that standard, I think the number is likely much higher.
Many people have fantasies of orgies of one sort or another. Some sexual fantasies involve crowds; evidence for that is demonstrated by the crowd scenes in many X-rated movies. A sexual fantasy is a story in which the person fantasizing has a starring role. These stories are extraordinarily varied. It is thought that the specifics of each fantasy draw on experiences the individual had growing up.
They may be short stories, such as watching someone else have sex or imagining that someone is looking at them while they have sex. These particular erotic daydreams are given names: voyeuristic fantasies or exhibitionistic fantasies.
There may be very complicated storylines which center on certain iconic figures: the teacher, the nurse, the maid, for instance, or the mother or father of a friend.
The action in sexual daydreams may involve different themes—for example, danger or dirtiness. Some people imagine having dirty sex, literally, with unkempt vagabonds. Some women fantasize about being raped. Similarly, heterosexual men may imagine having sex with rapacious women. Other closely related variations on these themes are expressed in the ideas of being tied up, or tying someone else up. Other sexual fantasies involve inflicting violence.
These are a pure distillation of the fact that sex sometimes is associated with aggression. Of course, homosexuals tend to have homosexual fantasies.
What is slightly more surprising, perhaps, is that some strictly heterosexual individuals also have homosexual fantasies. But some individuals also have fantasies of sex with children, which is a long way from actually being a pedophile.
Someone who is exclusively homosexual, for instance, may turn out to have only homosexual fantasies. Sexual fantasies can erupt at any time, but they are conjured up purposely in certain situations.
Sex is never experienced in the abstract. Sexual thoughts accompany sexual behaviors. When men and women masturbate , invariably they are thinking of some sort of sexual encounter. These are likely to be similar to the sexual fantasies imagined at other times, including those mentioned above. At still other times, sexual fantasies can crop up unpredictably and inconveniently. Adolescent boys are embarrassed sometimes by giving obvious evidence of sexual excitement.
Some sexual fantasies strike most people as at least a little strange, and there are some that seem downright bizarre. I would have thought that the number of people excited by enemas was not so large that more than one magazine would be required to satisfy the demand. These are, by definition, deviant, and usually engaged in obsessively.
Plainly, some perversions, such as pedophilia or rape, injure other people and are, therefore, criminal. But I want to say again that these are overt acts and do not usually grow out of engaging in such fantasies. Behaviors can be said to be ethical or unethical, but thoughts cannot be treated the same.
Sexual behavior is wrong when someone is hurt. Recorded X-rated movies are extremely popular, particularly now that they can be readily accessed online.
Some of these men and women have come to rely on these aides as they have grown older. There is an ongoing controversy about whether or not pornography contributes to the likelihood of sexual misbehavior or other difficulties, such as a lack of interest in "ordinary" human sexual interaction.
This dispute has been going on for decades and will probably not be decided definitively simply because the subject is so charged.
However, I think it is fair to say that, as of now, there is no convincing evidence that pornography is bad for anyone. Watching pornography does not seem to contribute to violent sexual behavior, for instance. Pornography involving children is condemned, obviously, because it is harmful to the children being exploited in such a way.
Anyone watching child pornography is and should be held responsible for it being produced. Some people insist that acting in pornographic movies is necessarily demeaning for the women involved, but many of the women themselves vehemently disagree; in my experience, the few women whom I have known who actually did perform in these movies did not think it was demeaning.
Still, there is something to be said for reality. On the other hand, sexual fantasies can range over the whole gamut of human interaction in ways that would not be acceptable in real life. There is an appeal to sexual fantasies, which is why people have them.
Reality can seem unexciting. At the same time, certain fantasies are best left as fantasies. There are hidden aspects of certain sexual daydreams that become apparent when an attempt is made to fulfill them. Putting it differently, reality interferes. I remember a man who joined a swinging group with his wife. A swinging group is made up of couples that switch partners. It involves elements of voyeurism and exhibitionism. Most couples leave these groups within one or two years because they prove unsatisfying.
My patient looked forward to the initial encounter with another couple, but then found himself listening to his wife making love in the next room. This proved unexpectedly upsetting. He began to think that his performance might be inferior. Similarly, I remember a young married man who always wanted to tie up a woman and have sex with her. His wife, by coincidence, had fantasies of being tied up.
There seemed no reason not to give it a try. But the experience turned out to be unsatisfactory for both of them. When I asked why, he told me the ropes chafed. I expect the controversy about pornography will flare up all over again when the new, three-dimensional, virtual reality devices that are being designed are finally constructed. Sexual portrayals will prove very popular, I think. Someday, in the not far off future, pornography will reach its theoretical limit when a sense of touch is added to whatever medium is extant at the time.
What absolute garbage. Tell that to the women who have had their physical and psychological health harmed by doing pornography, who have been trafficked, forced or coerced into it out of economic necessity or simply youthful naivety, or who have been assaulted by criminals obsessed with pornography. Even pornographers themselves will tell you that the industry is largely unregulated and an ethical and criminal cess pit at the very least. There's also plenty of evidence that at the very least pornography changes attitudes towards women and girls.
Pornography is not fantasy. It's filmed prostitution. Someone's life, someone's mind and body potentially being injured or harmed in an industry with an ever increasing demand for violence against and degradation of women. If you want to use pornography that's your choice to live with but don't distort the facts to justify that choice.
Oh, Anonymous, the fact that you have sexual fantasies about women being forced, trafficked and coerced to act in pornography simply does not make it true. The more pornography becomes available in a society, the less sexual violence. True, this is only correlational, so we can't state that increased pornography CAUSES the decrease in rape and sexual violence. However, if the hypothesis that pornography increases sexual violence were true, we would expect the exact opposite correlation. Please inform yourself with some real facts on this issue, instead of just regurgitating lies and nonsense.
To anonymous, you admonish the author to not distort facts to justify, yet you offer zero facts, only overwrought emotion and hysteria. You dont think porn is just fine? Then dont use it. And whatever you do use, I'm against it. So there :.