May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself , a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure. Sometimes, left to our own devices, us humans will do stupid things — especially when horny. After scouring forums on which people described their weirdest masturbating tools a lot of plastic baggies, a lot of doll parts? Cleaning equipment isn't the best idea for your equipment. Depending on your vacuum, there's potential for mangling— some have a blade right inside the tube, designed to chop larger bits and pieces so it doesn't clog.
Findings from the Caerphilly Sex drumstick study". Your friend has a silly sense of humor. In the UK ina leaflet was issued by the National Objects of masturbate Service in Sheffield carrying the slogan, "an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away". Coon and Mitterer stated: "Approximately 70 percent of married women and men masturbate at least mwsturbate. No Ben Gay!
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Not an unreasonable assumption! You were playing with fire here, friend. Vacuum Cleaner Orgasm - cam Maybe it was an insertable, like a particularly phallic vegetable. Some people even think they have extra special powers. You're not the only one. Guest over a year ago Wtf u started when u where 3 Objects of masturbate old how the hell did u even know Objectss it is???? On the flip side, lip balm — even jumbo-sized — is probably going to be do small. Or at least let them know msturbate a subtle way that olive oil and coconut oil don't have to be just for cooking. Make sure you don't nasturbate any Objects of masturbate cuts and wash thoroughly Jamaian models because citrus in a penis cut sounds not fun. Trust me, I'm all about coming as often as possible.
Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm.
- Big Tit Amateur Crazy Insertions.
- Maybe it was an insertable, like a particularly phallic vegetable.
- It's not that we're crazy, women are just very, very intelligent.
- Guest over a year ago.
Long before I bought my very first vibrator , a girl in my neighborhood introduced me to the water jets in my pool. So whenever my parents weren't looking or I had the opportunity to toss something out of the pool, something that I'd have to dangle my body out of the pool to retrieve, I went to the jet.
While I never had an orgasm — not that that was even on my radar at that age — there was no denying that it felt amazing, and the fact that I probably wasn't supposed to be doing it , at least not in front of anyone else, added to the appeal. But people using household items to get off is nothing new. According to a survey of people, ages 18 to 71, by Superdrug Online Doctor , 70 percent of women have used a household item for sexual pleasure.
Whether it was during masturbation or with a partner, the survey didn't say, but it's safe to assume that, in the heat of the moment, it doesn't matter if you're solo or with someone else, because my, oh my, does that candle look like fun! Coming in at number one on the list, with 42 percent of women turning to it when they crave an orgasm, is the shower head. I have to say, in my life, there have been quite a few shower heads that have caught my eye — and made me late to work.
Coming in at a distant second, with 25 percent, are pillows. As for how these pillows are being used as a sex toy, one can only assume it's for humping, as pillows don't make for very good penetrative devices. All you have to do is look at a well-endowed zucchini or cucumber to know that someone, somewhere, has eyed it as being something more than just food.
Those vegetable and fruit! However, it's important to note that inserting vegetables into your vagina can actually be dangerous. Whether it's because they haven't gone food shopping in awhile or because their shower head isn't detachable, 14 percent of women turn to their hairbrush as a make-shift sex toy.
For 13 percent of the women surveyed, a toothbrush does the trick when it comes to an on-the-spot toy for pleasuring. Which, if you've felt the vibration of some of those electric toothbrushes, definitely makes a lot of sense.
Also on the list at 13 percent are candles. One can only assume that these are being used for penetration — or to stimulate in other ways with hot wax, which is a light BDSM practice. According to the survey, 10 percent of women have used a marker or pen to give themselves — or their partner — pleasure.
It's so nice that a pencil is not on the list, because ouch. For eight percent of the women surveyed, it was some good ol' fashioned mattress humping that got them off.
Similar to pillows, I'm not sure how this happening, but the eight percent that's using them to either stimulate themselves or their partner should definitely get bonus points for creativity. Although what makeup products are being used the most as sex toys wasn't listed, it still stands that five percent of women use something from their makeup bag in place of a toy. If you can't get to your lipstick vibrator , then your actual lipstick just might be the next best thing.
Although only four percent have used a wine or beer bottle as a sex toy, here's hoping that four percent also used lube. While a bottle might cut it for one group of four percent, for another group of four percent, only a tool handle will do. Again, I hope there's lube and, if the tool handle is wooden, a condom involved.
Splinters in your vagina is a disaster waiting to happen. Although the thought of a woman using a remote control as a sex toy can definitely make ones mind run wild, because remote controls really come in all shapes and sizes, it's safest if we just imagine a standard remote control for the four percent who have indulged in this household item for other reasons than controlling their TV.
And last on the list, with only two percent of women reporting having used it, is a toilet plunger. One, that I hope, is sanitized. While so many people have used an item they found in their house in place of a sex toy, precautions should still be taken. The last thing you want is a bacterial infection in your vagina because the handle of your screwdriver was calling your name.
Here are the 14 household items that tend to get the most action. Shower Head. Vegetables Or Fruits. Marker Or Pen. Makeup Product. Wine Or Beer Bottle. Tool Handle. Remote Control. Toilet Plunger.
And, once again, I'm going to recommend buying an actual sex toy. It makes sense. Because some of these things just aren't safe for bodies. Anything you use is going to feel exciting because it's different. I soon warmed it up though …. Ice cubes while driving "I was in a car with no AC driving for 12 hours on the hottest, most humid day ever. You should try it….
Objects of masturbate. Edible Dildos
By your aunt. Remember how high-tech pagers seemed back in the '90s? Redditor jLjbear went all the way. I was careful and dumb? I did it the first time alone, but when I found out the idea of it sort of turned me on, I encouraged my boyfriend at the time and partners since to bring daggers into the bedroom :O.
Long before I was old enough to figure out how to find porn, I acted out erotic stories with my Barbies. Bought a bag of ice and drove with it on my lap -- putting pieces in my mouth. Started putting them in my bra.
Still hot. Started putting them in my vagina. Ahhh, much better. Once I got my PlayStation controller to glitch so it continuously vibrated and used that. Oh, and a revolver! That one was my favorite. But after practical application, I realized that the rubber that covers a hammer is sincerely different for the rubber-like silicone that covers dildos.
Best, most inexpensive vibrator ever. Hello, paper cuts in the pussy! No thanks, Chapsticklover. Well, that's how OwlEyed made a guitar gently weep. Syllie chose to rise and shine for some breakfast magic -- although, I'm pretty sure this isn't what Jimmy Dean had in mind.
I fucked his round, bumpy head. Totally serious. I was single and in my early 20s with the libido that could crush all libidos. I hated the dildo I bought because it was really hard to the touch and those cyberskin ones were really expensive at the time. So I got creative, did the deed, came, and then threw the pork loin away in shame. Feel free to tag as pig fucker. I would just run the wheels up and down until I came She told me that she uses a cheap back massager that comprises of three vibrating balls positioned in the shape of a triangle.
The three balls are essential, she explains, because while one ball is stimulating her vaginal opening, one of the other balls is stimulating her anus, which apparently brings a whole new level of pleasure to the table!
She said that she then uses her free hand and fingers to masturbate her clit. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? She purchased hers from a household general goods pound store for a quid and it runs on AAA batteries, in case your interested …. It makes sense that anything of the right shape can be a dildo substitute, so I wasn't too surprised when one woman I spoke to was so annoyed when her boyfriend was out of town and her mini-vibrator had lost it's steam, that she found herself routing through her fridge in search of a phallic replacement.
She pulled out a large carrot, washed it, then decided to use a condom over it — just in case — she didn't want any nasty yeast infection. I asked her what it felt like. Well it was freezing cold of course! She laughed. I soon warmed it up though ….
Power-shower nozzles appear to be the most popular alternative bathroom personal sex toy among women. If the mood is right though, you can pretty much use anything to rub against yourself and produce some surprisingly pleasurable results.
Anything you use is going to feel exciting because it's different. Sometimes it can even feel like you're being touched by someone else rather than yourself, which can be a turn on if you close your eyes and use your imagination. The women I spoke to mentioned things like sponges and shampoo bottles. One of them described how she has a flat bottle lid that she keeps in the bathroom specially for rubbing against her clit, round and round in circles, building up pressure and sometimes tapping on it and releasing for a variety of pleasurable sensations.
Another admitted she had once, rather spontaneously used a soft body brush to bring herself to a pleasing clitoral climax. The only problem with sexual stimulation in the bathroom of course is avoiding letting anything enter you that might upset the chemical balance of your vagina. Your vagina is self-cleaning and produces its own bacteria and secretions to assist with this, but anything soapy could cause an imbalance which leaves your vagina's natural immunity exposed and vulnerable to nasty bacteria infections, which can be very unpleasant and take a few weeks sometimes to subside.
You should always be careful when using objects that aren't specifically designed for sexual play, especially if you are inserting the object into your vagina, because you don't know what kinds of bacteria you are inserting along with it. You can use condoms over the top of objects if that helps — and ribbed condoms certainly help!
Or have designated objects used only for vaginal play, and make sure they are kept clean and that they are non-porous. Other items can be used quite freely for outer stimulation though, feathers for instance can enhance the sensitivity of the whole of your intimate area, including other erogenous zones like your nipples. Finding unusual objects for sexual stimulation isn't rocket science, but often it is where and how you use them that can lift your sexual experience to the next level.
For example, if you lie on your bed on your back, it doesn't matter what you use down there, it's going to feel fairly bog standard. If on the other hand, like Samantha from Sex and the City suggests, you mount a vibrating massager, the experience is going to be far more exciting. Often it is easier to experiment with private fantasy when you physically place yourself in the scenario because then it becomes more realistic.
One woman happily admitted to the fact that she enjoyed placing various objects in her knickers so that when she is out and about she can feel things rubbing up against er… pleasure spots.
She says it is particularly pleasurable when you have one of those egg-shaped sex toys actually inside of your vagina, and you can sit on a bus discretely manipulating it with your PC Muscles.
Another woman giggled and said she has a pair of very tight jeans, and whenever she wears them and sits down on a bus, every slight movement can be quite pleasurable, especially when she concentrates on the sensations being produced.
If you are playing with a vibrating object in bed, you might want to increase the excitement by tying one of your wrists tightly to the headboard, giving you a restrainer to resist against while you bring yourself to climax. I knew someone who admitted to doing this, and she felt so wonderfully worn out and satisfied afterwards that she fell straight asleep and woke up the next morning wondering where she was and why she was tied up. Of course then she relived her fantasy all over again.
Masturbating in unfamiliar locations, even if they are still within the privacy of your home can add something different and enjoyable to the experience. For example, getting naked on a cold kitchen surface can feel quite erotic, masturbate on your front so that your nipples touch the cold surface!
How about masturbating standing up against the inside of the front door… especially if you are expecting your partner to arrive home any minute. Mirrors are often an exciting addition, or even windows if you are feeling daring and naughty. Secretly record you and your partner's audio pleasure whilst having sex use a voice recorder app on your smartphone and make sure you contribute more vocally than usual — he will probably appreciate that anyway!
Listening to other people having sex can be a turn-on, and if it's you and your partner it will be even more sexy because you can relive the previous night's experience. There are so many options to choose from, so don't be shy! Think outside of the box and spice things up a bit — we're sure you'll find toys and ways to bring yourself to a whole new level of pleasure.
I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
13 household items you definitely shouldn't use to masturbate
Yeah I used that. I poured most of the water out the slipped it up inside the bag, the way it wiggled felt unreal. I would take in the shower and use it with the showerhead. That makes it sound like I masturbated with bubbles. Hold on. It was one of these. I used it like a dildo and the shower head like a vibrator. I only got to do it once though because I busted him open.
I was cleaning up that weird foam filler for weeks. I heard losing my virginity would hurt so I tried to pop my own cherry with a toothbrush before I had actual sex.
It hurt like hell. Used one of them as a dildo and that ladies and gents is the story of the first time I squirted. Ladies, listen up. Put the hair tie on the showerhead and then the washcloth over top of it with one corner hanging down and then hold it in place with the hair tie. Adjust until the water is falling down in one stream. It was very dick-shaped and it wobbled one day as I was changing my sheets. I got an idea and that night I went and unscrewed it and used it to masturbate.
It was awesome. I was sexually active and very good with it. When I was first figuring out what all the parts were and what they looked and felt like, I put this full-length mirror on my bedroom floor and sat in front of it with my legs spread. One day during my ritual, I got this bizarre idea…I got up, walked to the kitchen, got the box of Morton salt, plopped back into my mirror spot, and just poured it all over my clit and inner labia.
It was horrible and burny and awful. I was then trapped in my room, with a vagina completely covered in salt like some giant, radioactive slug. I swiped it and masturbated with it all through high school. I was super into knitting when I was like 15, and it helped with my anxiety. I used to take them to school and knit between classes. I remember in an IT class once, some asshole of a kid made a comment that I was like an old lady and probably masturbated with them.
What a ride! I just walked Mario into a corner and rumbled away. It worked well. I think they still sell these, lol. Take that, crazy repressive family! Anything I could do to find a bit of enjoyment growing up… So glad I figured out masturbation to help keep my own sanity. Let me explain….. This story goes back 15 years ago when nobody talked about or even could figure out what the hell was wrong with me when I began developing symptoms and went to PP for help.
I knew there was no way this sudden issue popping up was in my head. I was desperate for answers. I had tried and failed previously during searches. Finally after hours of putting on symptoms and nothing coming up I got a couple-sentence hit on my symptoms. It was some obscure medical article talking about a term I had previously never heard about before: vaginismus. I read it and my symptoms matched exactly! So I was a broke-ass college student and terribly embarrassed about this.
I know it probably sounds weird, but doing it this way helped me out a lot. First of all I could get an assortment of sizes, I could throw it away immediately, and it was cheap as hell at the time. Good News: after two weeks it went away. Pretty much every manual screwdriver in the house, really. But a little warmth makes it that much more real. My mom caught me, and she made me throw it out. But by then, I was so addicted to cumming that I secretly fished it out of the garbage.
The next time she caught me with it, she told me that if I ever touched myself again, she would take me to the doctor and tell them something was wrong with me.
Looking back, she did a real shit job on sex ed. For those of you wondering, this is a commercial for the pen.
I even tried using those toys that were fashionable at the time—they were squishy and filled with gel but resembled dildos in my mind.
Also experimented with the vibrate setting on a cellphone. Certainly humped a few pillows. When I was a kid…Removable top on my four-post bed and squeezing my thighs together hard enough to orgasm. Hairbrush handle. Venus razor handle with the razor detached. Various bottles. A bottle of lube. A mini bottle of baby powder.
Too many things. The showerhead. It feels good, man. It feels good. Now, around that time, I was slowly discovering that looping a hair tie around my wrists and pulling really hard made me feel weird.
One of the toys ones that have been out forever. Never got caught either, even though I shared a room with my sister. So uh, a bike seat. Rarely: unused plastic hair dye syringe with the end stuck into a length of rubber medical tubing.
I prefer to not think too hard on that one…When I was 14 I discovered the magic of whirlpool jets my parents had a whirlpool in their bathroom. This was how I came for the first time. I asked to take a lot of baths. I was only caught once by my mom, but I like to think I played it off as I was just thinking hard about something, pressed up against the edge of the tub.
Yeah, she probably totally believed it. It of course was no match for the whirlpool so I, instead, turned it into a steamroller pipe took the bowl off of a metal pot pipe, heated it up with a lighter, screwed it into the plastic, then cut off the other end of the tube.
And no, none of that produce ever went to waste after. Lastly, a couple years ago I was at the drugstore and found a clear candy tube that was shaped just like a dick. I bought it, ate the candy, and filed down the protruding plastic seam at the end. Also there are two machines at the gym that if I really push myself on them, I eventually orgasm.
One is a leg machine and the other one is an ab machine. Lastly, not sure if this counts but in 5th grade I discovered that I could squeeze my legs together and eventually it would make me orgasm, so I would just do it during class all the time without anybody knowing.
She has to trot harder to keep up with the other horses; the motion made me orgasm right there in front of my grandma and mom. I then began to use different things around the house. Toy cars, Barbies, hairbrushes, pop bottles. When that became boring I discovered cleaning brushes. You know the ones that spin? I remember being so obsessed with how it felt. After that I moved into the vibrating PS2 controllers.
I particularly remember never besting one of the bosses in Final Fantasy X because their entrance had a lot of vibrating and I was always to busy reloading the save and enjoying the vibe. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.
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