For those of you who ever walked in on your parents having sex, know you remain in good company. While it may burn the back of your subconscious, the memory of your parents' sex life is one that many other kids have of their own guardians. Sometimes a child misunderstands the nature of what they heard, and goes to investigate at their own risk. At others, kids may return home when the parents aren't aware, leading to some pretty awkward doorway moments. How can they be expected to carry on the future if they're too busy thinking of their parents mid-Whoopee?
My husband gave me the lookso we snuck into the laundry room's half bath. He and I then finished what we started, but it took a minute or two to get going again. Growing up, I lived in an old stone farm house that was way too small for my parents and their three children. We were having a very flirty Saturday, so when our four-year-old daughter glued herself in front of Blue's Clues ,we ran up to our bedroom Parents having sex stories some adults-only action. In her sweetest little voice, she says, 'Mommy, the washing machine is done. Apparently, our plan wasn't working as well as we thought becayse one morning my son asked to Carmen electra fucking movies to me privately and mentioned he could hear us through the heating vents. We were all virgins so just uhh….
Haper teen fan lit. Watch Next
Maybe you'll inspire more moms to get busy with their husbands? I am 17 and have been getting really turned on whenever I hear my parents having sex and lately they have been doing it like three times a week! We also explained to them around age 5 that mommy and daddy need alone time once in a while to watch movies and talk without the kids. Ask husband if his dream was about having great sex. Wife joins me in shower. I didn't even think to cover up or hide or anything, Parents having sex stories was just lying on my back fiddling with my phone while my girlfriend Parents having sex stories to rectify the situation. Everyone watches porn! Feel closer to Kristin kreuk boob slip than ever. Make out with husband. My husband gave me the lookso we snuck into the laundry room's half bath. That never lasted long, though. Needless to say, everyone went back to bed a little sad that night. Internet porn tonight?
As a parent, having my kids catch me in the act would by-far top my list of embarrassing moments.
- As a parent, having my kids catch me in the act would by-far top my list of embarrassing moments.
- My yr-old heard the headboard hit the wall and she asked us the next day if we were doing construction in our room last night?
- Losing your virginity is a big deal.
- Guest over a year ago.
- You'll never look at a cowboy hat the same way again.
One of the toughest challenges of becoming a parent is not losing your identity as a couple. Date nights , make-out sessions, and, of course, sex become a lot harder to engage in spontaneously as kids do everything they can to ruin a romantic moment.
Frankly, it's amazing anyone ends up with more than one. The trick, as these couples show, is to keep your wits — and clothes — about you and have a good sense of humor. And remember, eventually they'll grow up and worry about you walking in on their intimate moments — payback can be a sweet, sweet bitch. For the record, it was an actual owl — not us. My husband jumped up and ran to the bathroom in embarrassment, and I told her we were having a tickle fight.
I replied, 'Because it tickles more without our jammies! After a few glasses of wine one night , we popped the kids in front of a movie, shut the door to our adjoining room, and started fooling around. The sex was so good — vacation sex always is — and we were really going for it. Well, apparently, my younger son walked in — we didn't notice — and then ran back to tell his brother, who came in next to check it out. It must have been a pretty shocking scene: It was hot, so we were outside of the covers fully exposed.
I got dressed and walked into their room, where they were giggling and pretending to watch TV. Finally, my older son said, 'I'll never get that image out of my head. I told them that I knew we were all embarrassed, and after a few minutes we were able to laugh it off.
Now our boys are 20 and 22 years old, and they tease us about it to this day. I jokingly tell them, 'Well, at least you saw your mom and dad at their best! We were having a very flirty Saturday, so when our four-year-old daughter glued herself in front of Blue's Clues ,we ran up to our bedroom for some adults-only action.
We didn't have a bedroom door at the time it's a long renovation story , and a few minutes later I saw her peeking in at us. Thankfully, we were covered with blankets, and we just stopped and sent her back downstairs. A couple hours later she went down for a nap, so we ran up to our room to finish what we had begun earlier. Right when things were starting to get good, I heard from the doorway, 'Mommy, I'm awake.
He hung one that night! I can hear them! But nothing could have prepared her — or us — for when she caught me with my mouth full , so to speak. I knew it grossed her out, but I felt that I owed her the truth about what I was doing, so I sat her down and told her what oral sex was. It was so awkward, but I'd rather have her hear it from me than from one of her friends. At p. Sorry, honey! When it was over, my five-year-old daughter knocks on the door.
We scramble to cover up and I tell her to come in. In her sweetest little voice, she says, 'Mommy, the washing machine is done. I feel the bed shaking and look back to find my husband doing his best to stifle a laugh. Then it dawned on me: she must have heard the thumping from the headboard hitting the wall.
I quickly said, 'Oh yeah. I forgot I was washing, um, socks tonight. Thank you for letting me know. Go back to bed sweetie. We didn't really worry about it because the kids were small. As he was getting into the fridge, I got down on my knees and started giving him a blow job. Next thing I know, I hear a squeaky little voice and, with my mouth still full, turn my head and am staring at eye level with my two-year-old son.
I'm just grateful he was too young to have any idea of what was going on or to have any memory AKA long-term psychological damage of it. Apparently my enthusiastic vocalization led him to believe I was having a nightmare, and he wanted to come wake me up and tell me everything was okay just like I do for him. In hindsight it really was quite sweet, although we were too shocked to appreciate it at the time. We got a little tipsy and decided it would be fun to get busy under the Christmas tree.
Well, our living room has no door to shut, and when we finished we saw our youngest child, then three, standing there watching us. Our daughter shrugged, then turned around and walked back to her bed. We still laugh about it and wonder where exactly she thought daddy was looking for broken light bulbs.
But nothing could have prepared her — or us — for when she caught me with my mouth full, so to speak. I spent the next couple of minutes dodging her open-mouthed attempts to kiss me. Now we keep anything more than a peck behind closed doors. Our kids were all playing in their rooms, and I assumed my husband had locked the door behind him.
That is, until our 4-year-old and her best friend marched into the bathroom. She thought about that for a moment and said, 'Okay, but can you make us a snack first? We love the cuddles, but we recently realized it was probably time to reconsider the arrangement when she ever-so-politely told us that it would be fine if I moved her to the outside edge at night so we could have 'mom and dad time.
My 5-year-old daughter wandered in to say good morning and asked why I'd taken my underwear off in the middle of the night. I said, 'No, but you did?
Why didn't you come get me? One night my husband and I were getting busy and we heard a little voice say, 'Moooom? He'd come because he needed to go potty and needed me to help him. My husband was so surprised that he jumped up and slammed the door in his face, yelling, 'You're a big boy now!
Pee by yourself! Then he started wailing, which made me upset, and then my husband gave up. Needless to say, everyone went back to bed a little sad that night. But the next morning my husband got up first and found a folded up note that had been slid under the door. Our daughter wrote that she had heard us 'arguing' at night and lectured us that we should 'treat each other nicely even when we're mad'.
But the killer was the hand-drawn picture, complete with my husband on top and me looking very 'angry. Also now I have to wonder, is that what my O face really looks like? Things were just getting hot and heavy in the backseat don't judge! I looked up to see our son peering in through the window anxiously. I was on top so pretty much eye level with him. And it was true.
We'd been having sex on top of his vocabulary list. To this day we joke about what kind of new words he might have learned from that! It was a little surprising but my wife and I assumed he was sleepwalking. It's an issue he's had for years and we've learned the best thing to do is just take him back to bed as quietly as possible. If we wake him up, he'll freak out. So I didn't say anything, threw a blanket around my waist and walked him back to bed.
We thought nothing of it until a couple of days later when he said out of the blue, 'Daddy, why did you have your pee-pee in mommy's butt? Because of this, my husband and I try really hard to keep it quiet if we decide to have sex while he's home, even if we think he's asleep. Apparently, our plan wasn't working as well as we thought becayse one morning my son asked to talk to me privately and mentioned he could hear us through the heating vents. He was trying so hard to be grown-up and polite but it was clear he was super embarrassed as it had been happening for quite a while.
Finally I answered, 'Well, at least you know your dad and I love each other very much. It's really important to a marriage to have a good sex life. I bought him a pair of earplugs. We're so close that my kids will sometimes just walk in her house without waiting for her to come to the door.
One day, my kindergartner went over to say hello and visit her 'auntie' — the same time my friend's husband came home for lunch. They had decided to have a spontaneous sexy moment in the bedroom. They had just finished when my daughter's cute face appeared at the door to their room.
Fortunately, my friend was somewhat covered and had a sense of humor about it. But we did both wonder at what moment, exactly, my daughter had showed up at the door. My daughter never said a thing about it. One in particular had these weird ridges that were killing my back. I mentioned it to my husband, and he said he'd give me a back rub later with a wink, of course. Fast forward to the evening, and all of us were back at our hotel and exhausted from a full day in the water.
Once the kids were asleep, we snuck in the bathroom to have a quickie. We thought they were out cold for the night from such a long day. Anyway, I guess we forgot to lock the door, because while I'm bent over the edge of the bathtub, my 5-year-old son walks in all bleary eyed and says, 'Daddy, you shouldn't massage Mommy's back so hard!
You're gonna hurt her!
Boobs leak. You guys are weird! I spent the next couple of minutes dodging her open-mouthed attempts to kiss me. I ran away, hysterically crying. Maybe you'll inspire more moms to get busy with their husbands? He comes home right when I am about to get it on. Three-year-old bursts in: "Daddy, why are you rubbing Mommy's booty?
Parents having sex stories. Top Navigation
LanceManion » Memoir: hearing my parents having sex.
A few years ago an ex and I were driving back to my parents place at night in high school at the time when I asked her if she would give me a little road head. She agreed and began to do her thing. I was driving down the road being as careful as possible when boom goes the dynamite.
Awesome, right? Apparently we were at a bad angle, when I went off I caused her to gag and she ended up vomiting all over my crotch and drivers seat. As soon as I realize what has happened I pulled off the road into a high school parking lot so I can at least attempt to clean up some of the mess.
This was back in highschool. To make a long story short, my friend and I both guys and straight were both experimenting with our female friend. We were all virgins so just uhh…. It began with making out and eventually she was giving us both handjobs for all of our first times ever. My friend shoots first and gets it all over her. She runs into the bathroom to go clean it up and is ostensibly going to come back in and finish me off.
So to set the scene we are both sitting on her bed with our pants off, me with a raging boner, him with a deflating one with spooge dripping out. Her dad is scary. He is a big black dude who used to play college ball.
Her mom is a white former hippie current bleeding heart lawyer. And that either saved us or doomed us. Thinking on the fly we just went with it and told a big story about how we were gay but our parents were super intolerant but Laura their daughter was very cool and let us use her room to be together while she hung out in a separate part of the house.
They bought it all but the fucking worst thing is that they bought it too hard and practically adopted us as their 2 gay sons. We were family friends for years before this but from this point on they would always make sure to email us stuff about gay rights and whenever we were over they would mention or ask about new stuff happening in the gay world.
This was years ago and to this day they still think we are totally gay. I am still afraid that the Dad will find out and absolutely fucking murder the turders out of me if I say or do the wrong thing or we just get unlucky and have another walk-in. Me and my girlfriend at the time are hanging out in her room watching TV. We just changed positions and started anew when I hear a knock on the door and the doorknob starts turning. I was caught, and her Dad was going to kill me and bury me in the back yard.
It was a done deal in my mind. What happened next I will recite verbatim, for it is forever seared in my memory. Her mother pokes her head in the door. During my sophomore summer home from college one of my good friends from childhood was visiting and my Dad decided it was ok if I had friends over to drink a bit in the backyard. Well, from that mild mannered gathering I managed to pull a girl and brought her back to my room around 1 am.
I flip open the blinds to see my fucking DAD staring back at me in my boxers and a random girl with the sheets pulled over her tits. Turns out he went out to the backyard to clean up after we were all done partying and accidentally locked himself out of the house.
Late one night my parents had gone to bed and my girlfriend and I are fooling around on the couch in the living room.
She was wearing a skirt and simply removed her panties. I was wearing loose jeans so I just undid the button and unzipped. I was sitting on the couch and she was riding me reverse cowgirl when we heard someone coming down the stairs. There was no time to do anything except for her to throw a blanket over us. She proceeds to join us on the couch to watch a little TV. Mind you…my cock is buried in my girlfriend. Now my girlfriend was a freak…and this seemed to totally turn her on.
She was doing this while talking to my mom…chatting and laughing. This went on for about 5 minutes before my mom finally got up to use the bathroom. The second she was out of sight my GF started bouncing on my cock again and came as hard as she ever had. This in turn caused me to burst, as well. We recovered pretty quickly and she got off of me. We were able to get ourselves re-situated just in time for my mom to come back in sit back down. Her and my GF continued talking for a good 30 minutes while I sat there unable to speak.
In my sophomore year of high school, my boyfriend and I are going at it in my bedroom. We appear to be fully dressed. Her smile faltered as she saw me straddling him.
The crease between her eyebrows faded a little and she set down the basket of laundry. He and I then finished what we started, but it took a minute or two to get going again. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.
A cop was involved… A few years ago an ex and I were driving back to my parents place at night in high school at the time when I asked her if she would give me a little road head. There is no summary good enough for this epic story Okay this is a bad one. What the FUCK????? EDIT: Okay since this seems popular here are some more anecdotes from what this lie has wrought. They tried to hint to my parents that I was gay on more than one occassion and I then had my parents question me about this and there is no fucking good answer to that one.
Thanks Dad. We all watched together once and it was just really fucking awkward. Parents keep walking in!! Dad locked himself out During my sophomore summer home from college one of my good friends from childhood was visiting and my Dad decided it was ok if I had friends over to drink a bit in the backyard. Open door policy, no cares! More From Thought Catalog.
Some of these are really funny but I would not want to be caught in any of these situations. Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in! Follow Thought Catalog. Post to Cancel.