If a German app launched this month succeeds, smartphones could well be the next big marketplace for prostitution. Not unlike Uber for sex workers, the Berlin-based Peppr app uses GPS to connect potential clients with prostitutes in their immediate area. Prostitution is legal in Germany, and the app's declared intention is to save prostitutes from having to pound sidewalks for customers. She continued:. It was cold - I had a skirt on myself - and I saw a sex worker on the street.
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An apparently average, thirtysomething, middle-class man, Ben had taken an extended lunchbreak from his job in advertising to talk about his experiences of buying sex. Shy and slightly nervous, he told me, "I am hoping that talking about it might help me work out why I do it. I, too, was hoping to understand his motives better. Ben was one of men interviewed for a major international research project seeking to uncover the reality about men who buy sex.
The project spanned six countries, and of the customers we spoke to in London — where I was one of the researchers — most were surprisingly keen to discuss their experiences. The men didn't fall into obvious stereotypes. In the main they were presentable, polite, with average-to-good social skills. Many were husbands and boyfriends; just over half were either married or in a relationship with a woman. Research published in found that the numbers of men who pay for sex had doubled in a decade.
Another told me that he felt "disappointed — what a waste of money", "lonely still" and "guilty about my relationship with my wife". In fact, many of the men were a mass of contradictions. Despite finding their experiences "unfulfilling, empty, terrible", they continued to visit prostitutes. I interviewed 12 of the men, and found it a fascinating experience. To a third person it looks like we're in love. I felt compassion for Alex. No one had shown him how to form a bond with another human being and he was searching for something that commercial sex was never going to provide.
But another of the interviewees left me feeling concerned. Darren was young, good-looking and bright; I asked him how often he thought the women he paid enjoyed the sex. If she enjoys it I would feel cheated. But they still continued to visit them. More than half admitted that they either knew or believed that a majority of women in prostitution were lured, tricked or trafficked.
She looked troubled. Another said that he had "seen women with bruises, cuts and eastern European accents in locations where lots of trafficked women and girls are". She told me she had been tricked.
I had sex with her and she seemed fine with the sex. She asked me to help her, but I said there was little I could do. She might have been lying to me. One of the most interesting findings was that many believed men would "need" to rape if they could not pay for sex on demand.
One told me, "Sometimes you might rape someone: you can go to a prostitute instead. He might rape. Half of the interviewees had bought sex outside of the UK, mostly in Amsterdam, and visiting an area where prostitution is legal or openly advertised had given them a renewed dedication to buying sex when they returned to the UK.
Almost half said that they first paid for sex when they were below the age of Maybe he wanted to make sure we weren't gay. We went to a brothel. Dad didn't do it, and I don't think he told my mum. Another man paid for sex during a stag trip to Thailand with eight of his friends. He was disappointed. She didn't want to talk, just lay on the bed and wanted to do the [sex] act only.
Many men seemed to want a real relationship with a woman and were disappointed when this didn't develop: "It's just a sex act, no emotion. Be prepared to accept this or don't go at all.
It's not a wife or girlfriend. Lots of men go to prostitutes so they can do things to them that real women would not put up with. Ahmed said he thought the woman might feel "relief that I'm not going to kill her". The law's not enforced now, but if any negative thing happened as a consequence it would deter me. He told me, "If I'd get in trouble for doing it, I wouldn't do it.
In this country, the police are fine with men visiting prostitutes. Read the research project's report here pdf. All names have been changed. Why do you think men pay for sex? Do you think more should be done to stop them? Email your views to women theguardian. Topics Prostitution. Women Crime features. Reuse this content. Order by newest oldest recommendations.
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The dangers of rebranding prostitution as ‘sex work’ | Life and style | The Guardian
The notion that being paid to perform sex acts should be recognised as a kind of service work is the rationale underpinning legalised prostitution regimes. Masking its fundamental purpose thus becomes the primary PR challenge for the prostitution, pornography and strip club trades if they are to survive — maybe even thrive — in a society that has decided, at least in principle, that women are not subordinate sex objects and rape is a bad thing. How can sexual consent be a thing that can be bought and sold, yet we can still talk with a straight face about there being such concepts as healthy sexual relationships and meaningful consent?
There is no invisible hand in the prostitution market that magically disappears the lived experience of sexual abuse. Research by the British Medical Journal found that, in three UK cities, half of women in outdoor prostitution, and a quarter of women in indoor prostitution, reported having been subject to violence by a sex buyer in the previous six months. A separate study, in Sociology of Health and Illness , involving more than women engaged in flat-based prostitution in London, highlighted how an indoor setting can have its own particular coercive influence.
On average, a woman was paid for sex by 76 men each week. This builds on the claim that prostitution is sex work by attempting to frame that work simply as a series of individual, private exchanges set apart from the rest of society. Milton Friedman , the late economist and proponent of unbridled free-market capitalism, implied much the same when asked about prostitution in Trades weave themselves into the fabric of society. We know this. We place all kinds of restrictions and prohibitions on markets precisely because of this.
Because the risks, particularly to the most vulnerable and marginalised in society, are just too high. Commercial exchanges that people may agree to participate in without a gun being held to their head — such as sales of human organs, voting rights, bonded labour contracts — are nonetheless deemed legally off limits.
Some trades are too toxic to tolerate. A basic principle that is utterly indispensable to ending violence against women, not to mention to our fundamental concept of humanity, is that sexual abuse is never acceptable.
Cheerleaders of brothels, porn sets and strip clubs would have us believe that the sex trade levitates above the level of social values and cultural beliefs. But no one can opt out of its effects. A market in sexual exploitation, accepted and tolerated, influences who we all are as individuals, and who we are as a people.
A society that acts in law and language as if men who pay to sexually access women are simply consumers, legitimately availing workers of their services, is a society in deep denial about sexual abuse — and the inequality underpinning it.
Phone orders min. Facebook Twitter Pinterest. Topics Women. Sex trade Prostitution Rape and sexual assault features. Reuse this content. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading? Most popular.