Son still get spanked by dad-Mom Says Her Dad Can't Babysit After Spanking Son | CafeMom

Once considered commonplace, the American Academy of Pediatrics now condemns it , instead urging parents to use "healthy forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, limit setting, redirecting, and setting future expectations. Now, her husband is livid and says that her father isn't allowed anywhere near their kids. But the mom? She's not so sure where she stands. The mom usually lets her dad watch her two sons a couple days a week, while she and her husband are at work.

Son still get spanked by dad

Son still get spanked by dad

Son still get spanked by dad

Son still get spanked by dad

A parent geet be mature and not let their emotions dictate their decisions, like what you are doing here. When you spank a young child you snap them out of a behavior with quick, swift correction typically because they are not old enough to reason and cannot pull themselves out from their wrong. By the time I was a teenager. Spanked by your father on the bare-bottom. However, the Supreme Court of Norway ruled in that a light "careful slap" applied immediately after the "offence" was still allowed.

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Re: Can we discuss the amount of swats? It didn't take long for him to be home before the underpants were off and my bottom was getting warmed. My Dad and Grandfathers, and occasionally uncles spanked us on a regular basis. And so, in my early thirties, I found myself explaining the trauma of that frequent ordeal to my partner, without situating myself as Diaper suppliers abuse survivor, because Son still get spanked by dad admit that was unthinkable. Subscribe to: Post Spankfd Atom. A parent must be mature and not let their emotions dictate their decisions, like what you are dzd here. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to gt herself forever: never violence. I don't think its abuse. The toddler rubberpants should have made you feel pure and innocent like the little girls. Obviously you need to be the mature adult here. If the parent is already the type of person who is so emotionally messed bby themselves, where they go further than spanking and end up abusing and beating on their child, then, YES, that's obviously very wrong!

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Parents who spank their children tend to see it as an important, effective, and useful tool in teaching kids how to behave. For many parents, corporal punishment is viewed as a personal decision with merits.

While child health and development experts point to research that indicates that physical punishment is not effective and puts kids at risk for a number of negative outcomes, research shows that spanking is practiced in many homes. As many as 83 percent of kids in America have been punished physically by their parents by the fifth grade, according to Liz Gershoff, Ph. Here are some of the arguments that have been made by those who support corporal punishment, and what child discipline experts say about the practice.

Hitting doesn't teach them why what they did was wrong or what they should do next time. It teaches kids how to avoid being hit instead of helping them develop positive motivations for good behavior.

Spanking kids and using other forms of physical punishment is a risk, not a guarantee that kids will develop problems. Today, we have made a lot of changes to keep children and adults safer. Sendek says, "There are a lot of things that happened 10 or 20 years ago that we don't do today, like not using car seats or bike helmets. But today, I would not put a child on a bike without a helmet. We've made changes.

Sendek suggests that parents who were spanked as kids may want to take a hard look at their own experiences. Some parents believe firmly that children who are not spanked will grow up to be spoiled.

However, simply looking at the millions of examples of well-behaved, kind , good , and well-mannered children who have never been spanked shows that this is simply not the case. While failing to discipline kids in any way can indeed lead to them becoming spoiled and unpleasant, punishment corporal or otherwise is not the alternative. A better approach is to take the middle ground, where there is a combination of firm and loving discipline without the pain or fear of a spanking.

As for the argument that not using corporal punishment will lead to bad behavior, people who are in jail or kids who are delinquent are likely to have been spanked just as much, if not more than kids who are obedient or adults who don't break the law, notes Victor Vieth, executive director emeritus at the Gundersen Center.

Hitting doesn't work every time either; otherwise, a parent would only have to hit once and never again. Parenting is about consistency, and giving kids realistic consequences, like taking away TV, computer time, or video games for a week, or having kids do extra chores for misbehaving or breaking the rules. If your child has a behavioral or learning problem, other forms of discipline may require extra effort. It's critical that parents of children with behavioral or learning problems do not try and solve a discipline issue with hitting, says Sendek.

There is ample research on corporal punishment and its effect on kids. The American Academy of Pediatrics AAP stands firmly against spanking, as research has proved that corporal punishment increases aggression in children, is ineffective in teaching responsibility and self-control, and may affect normal brain development.

There are signs that many are moving away from corporal punishment of children. But for parents on both sides of the debate, putting emotion aside, along with any criticism or judgment, and looking at the research is perhaps the best approach. Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. Knox M. Journal of Pediatric Health Care. Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children. More in Discipline.

Opinion of the American Academy of Pediatrics There is ample research on corporal punishment and its effect on kids. If you do use corporal punishment as a form of discipline, ask yourself these key questions:. Is it effective? Are you getting the results you're aiming for? Is it more effective than other methods? What are the long-term consequences? When Parents Disagree About Discipline.

Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources. Sendek, Deborah. March, Vieth, Victor. March Gershoff, Liz. Continue Reading. Solutions for When Parents Disagree on Discipline. How to Discipline Kids Without Yelling. Hitting an Appropriate Form of Discipline?

Re: Games or playful events? Update: yea, i didnt realize i didnt finish that part about who i got caught with. Are there teens actually still getting spanked? Sunday, 7 July New Dad An ageplay story. The new suit had short pants, and any boy my age, would not want to been seen in such a suit. I am 16 and in the same position as most boys my age. Its heat and hurt will probably always be with me.

Son still get spanked by dad

Son still get spanked by dad

Son still get spanked by dad

Son still get spanked by dad. Pagination

He has no business spanking you! Let alone spanking you on your bare bottom, and making you stand in the corner. You are almost an adult now, and your father treats you like you are 8 years old!

Your don't deserve to be treated like this when you dis-obey at home. Grounding is a better punishment for a girl your age. You need to go to the police and discuss this with the police, and if youir mother lives at home, show your mother if she isn't aware of what is going on.

You can also talk with your guidence counslor about your issues at home, and tell the counslor what is going on. One word of advice I like to give you even though you may not like this is do not drink if you are underage.

This needs to stop. This is sick as well. In fact if he doesn't stop you need to say something about this to someone. And standing in the corner, that I would completely refuse to do at your age.

Your father needs therapy. But make sure you don't act out in an unhealthy way. Obviously you need to be the mature adult here.

Make good decisions and get your life rolling and get the hell out of there. The next time he tries this you need to REFUSE to let him put his hands on you as well as anything regarding you being undressed. If it gets out of hand, simply call the police. And honestly if you didn't misbehave you wouldn't get spanked.

So stop misbehaving. It's cause and affect, you're old enough to have figured that out. Be an adult and take your punishment. It's better he's strict on you then you going to jail one day because you weren't raised right.

And when I was 17 I didn't go to parties. I didn't drink. I didn't do drugs. And I didn't sleep with my 22 year old boyfriend. Which by the way how is it that your boyfriend didn't go to jail. You are just a kid. And if I done what you done then I would have gotten spanked. But I knew better. I understand Cause and affect I do not think a girl should be spanked at your age by a maleComplain to someone at school after telling your dad it is not appropiateYou should be punished but it is not appropiate to be physically disciplined by a male at your ageI got paddled bare by my dad thu high school but since it was male to male it was not a big deal -- it did hurt alot.

Well, im Latest was like 10 though. All the advice i can give you is, stay away from the parties! That is the message your dad is trying to send! I love being a mommy!

I broke my dad from spanking me when I was probably I started rebelling about then and I would never ever let myself cry no matter how hard he hit me I'd laugh in his face. He quit pretty soon after that. Pagination 1. Existing questions. Eventually they told me that they wanted me to go each week with them. After two weeks I knew it was not for me. Being an only child I would often get my way and thought that I would not have to go if I put my foot down. After a few weeks of not going, a minister came around and spent an hour telling me what God thought of me for not obeying my parents and how I would be left behind at the end time and so on.

After that I attended for a month or so then I decided that was enough. Again, I told my parents that I am not interested and again the minister came around. He did not win me over this time, but did I suffer because of my rebellion. On the advice of the minister, my parents adopted a very forceful approach. They had not up to that time ever hit me in anyway.

One Friday evening my parents told me that I was going to services with them tomorrow and if I gave them any trouble I was going to be spanked. They then showed me a paddle that they obtained from somewhere. Most likely from the minister My stomach was in knots at the thought of being spanked and I was a very worried boy.

I was also a very stubborn boy and the next morning when asked to put on a new gray suit for services I bluntly refused. I now had two reasons for not wanting to yield.

The new suit had short pants, and any boy my age, would not want to been seen in such a suit. In the end, my dad tucked me under his arm and gave me 5 or 6 firm whacks with the paddle. I could not believe what happened. Dad had actually smacked me for the first time that I could remember. I was sort of in shock. I went to my room crying and put on the suit. When I had the suit on, I felt and looked like an eight year old. The shorts were long and baggy looking and I had to wear gray knee length socks with them.

I felt so sick inside and pleaded with Mum and Dad to change their minds. When I asked why I had to wear the suit with shorts, they told me that the minister had told them that it would bring me down a peg or two and help me to realise that I am still just a boy who should be doing what his parents say.

Note: Back in in Australia, it was not "cool" to be seen in a suit at 13 years old. To been seen in a suit with shorts and long knee length socks was just humiliating. I sulked right up until the time we had to leave. Then I mistakenly made one last effort to stay home. I refused to get in the car. That was the last straw, Dad went to get the paddle and Mum went to her bedroom.

Corporal punishment in the home - Wikipedia

Physical or corporal punishment by a parent or other legal guardian is any act causing deliberate physical pain or discomfort to a minor child in response to some undesired behavior. It typically takes the form of spanking or slapping the child with an open hand or striking with an implement such as a belt, slipper, cane , hairbrush or paddle , hanger, and can also include shaking, pinching, forced ingestion of substances, or forcing children to stay in uncomfortable positions.

Social acceptance of corporal punishment is high in countries where it remains lawful, particularly among more traditional groups. In many cultures, parents have historically been regarded as having the right, if not the duty, to physically punish misbehaving children in order to teach appropriate behavior.

Researchers, on the other hand, point out that corporal punishment typically has the opposite effect, leading to more aggressive behavior in children and less long-term obedience. Other adverse effects, such as depression , anxiety , anti-social behavior and increased risk of physical abuse , have also been linked to the use of corporal punishment by parents.

Evidence shows that spanking and other physical punishments, while nominally for the purpose of child discipline , are inconsistently applied, often being used when parents are angry or under stress. Severe forms of corporal punishment, including kicking, biting, scalding and burning, can also constitute unlawful child abuse. International human-rights and treaty bodies such as the Committee on the Rights of the Child , the Council of Europe and the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights have advocated an end to all forms of corporal punishment, arguing that it violates children's dignity and right to bodily integrity.

During the late 20th and into the 21st century, some countries began removing legal defences for adult guardians' use of corporal punishment, followed by outright bans on the practice. Since Sweden outlawed all corporal punishment of children in , an increasing number of countries have enacted similar bans, particularly following international adoption of the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

However, domestic corporal punishment of children remains legal in most of the world. The Committee on the Rights of the Child defines corporal punishment as "any punishment in which physical force is used and intended to cause some degree of pain or discomfort, however light". Corporal punishment involves hitting 'smacking', 'slapping', 'spanking' children, with the hand or with an implement — whip, stick, belt, shoe, wooden spoon, etc.

But it can also involve, for example, kicking, shaking or throwing children, scratching, pinching, biting, pulling hair or boxing ears, forcing children to stay in uncomfortable positions, burning, scalding or forced ingestion for example, washing children's mouths out with soap or forcing them to swallow hot spices.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics , "Corporal punishment involves the application of some form of physical pain in response to undesirable behavior", and "ranges from slapping the hand of a child about to touch a hot stove to identifiable child abuse , such as beatings, scaldings and burnings. Because of this range in the form and severity of punishment, its use as a discipline strategy is controversial".

In the context of causing pain in order to punish, it is distinct from physically restraining a child to protect the child or another person from harm. Among various pre-existing factors that influence whether parents use physical punishment are: experience with physical punishment as a child, knowledge about child development , socioeconomic status, parental education and religious ideology.

Favorable attitudes toward the use of physical punishment are also a significant predictor of its use.

Parents tend to use corporal punishment on children out of a desire for obedience, both in the short and long term, and especially to reduce children's aggressive behaviors. This despite a significant body of evidence that physically punishing children tends to have the opposite effect, namely, a decrease in long-term compliance and an increase in aggression. Other reasons for parents' use of physical punishment may be to communicate the parent's displeasure with the child, to assert their authority and simple tradition.

Parents also appear to use physical punishment on children as an outlet for anger. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that "Parents are more likely to use aversive techniques of discipline when they are angry or irritable, depressed, fatigued, and stressed", and estimates that such release of pent-up anger makes parents more likely to hit or spank their children in the future.

According to the AAP, "These findings challenge most the notion that parents can spank in a calm, planned manner". Where corporal punishment was perceived as being more culturally accepted, it was less strongly associated with aggression and anxiety in children. However, corporal punishment was still positively associated with child aggression and anxiety in all countries studied.

According to Elizabeth Gershoff, these findings appear to challenge the notion that corporal punishment is "good" for children, even in cultures with histories of violence. Researchers have found that while the use of corporal punishment predicts variation in children's aggression less strongly in countries where there is more social acceptance of it, cultures in which corporal punishment is more accepted have higher overall levels of societal violence.

A study by Murray A. Straus at the University of New Hampshire found that children across numerous cultures who were spanked committed more crimes as adults than children who were not spanked, regardless of the quality of their relationship to their parents.

Opinions vary across cultures on whether spanking and other forms of physical punishment are appropriate techniques for child-rearing. Social acceptance toward, and prevalence of, corporal punishment by parents in some countries remains high despite a growing scientific consensus that the risks of substantial harm outweigh the potential benefits. Because of this, any parent who has ever spanked a child would find it extremely difficult to accept the research findings. If they did acknowledge, even in the smallest way, that spanking was harmful, they would likely feel they are admitting they harmed their own child and thus are a child abuser.

Similarly, adults who were spanked as children often face similar cognitive dissonance, because admitting it is harmful might be perceived as accusing their parents of abuse and might also be admitting to having been victimized in a situation where they were helpless to stop it.

Such feelings would cause intense emotional discomfort, driving them to dismiss the scientific evidence in favor of weak anecdotal evidence and distorted self-reflection. Corporal punishment of minors in the United States. Traditionally, corporal punishment of minor children is legal unless it is explicitly outlawed. The defence is ultimately derived from English law.

The number of countries banning all forms of corporal punishment against children has grown significantly since the adoption of the Convention on the Rights of the Child , when only four countries had such bans. According to Gershoff, the intent of such bans on corporal punishment is not typically to prosecute parents, but to set a higher social standard for caregiving of children.

Pope Francis has declared his approval of the use of corporal punishment by parents, as long as punishments do not "demean" children. The Vatican commission appointed to advise the Pope on sexual abuse within the church criticized the Pope for his statement, contending that physical punishments and the infliction of pain were inappropriate methods for disciplining children.

They maintain that "Mainstream faith communities and respected leaders are now supporting moves to prohibit and eliminate all violence against children", including corporal punishment. According to Bernadette Saunders of Monash University , "Children commonly tell us that physical punishment hurts them physically and can escalate in severity; arouses negative emotions, such as resentment, confusion, sadness, hatred, humiliation, and anger; creates fear and impedes learning; is not constructive, children prefer reasoning; and it perpetuates violence as a means of resolving conflict.

Children's comments suggest that children are sensitive to inequality and double standards, and children urge us to respect children and to act responsibly". Overlapping definitions of physical abuse and physical punishment of children highlight a subtle or non-existent distinction between abuse and punishment.

The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health of the United Kingdom remarked in a policy statement that "corporal punishment of children in the home is of importance to pediatricians because of its connection with child abuse It is not possible logically to differentiate between a smack and a physical assault since both are forms of violence.

The motivation behind the smack cannot reduce the hurtful impact it has on the child. In their words, "Societies which promote the needs and rights of children have a low incidence of child maltreatment, and this includes a societal rejection of physical punishment of children". According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, "The only way to maintain the initial effect of spanking is to systematically increase the intensity with which it is delivered, which can quickly escalate into abuse".

They note that "Parents who spank their children are more likely to use other unacceptable forms of corporal punishment". In the United States, interviews with parents reveal that as many as two thirds of documented instances of physical abuse begin as acts of corporal punishment meant to correct a child's behavior.

The difference between the two is often degree duration, amount of force, object used rather than intent". The study noted that abusive physical punishment tended to be given by fathers and often involved striking the child's head or torso instead of the buttocks or limbs.

Voter turnout was It was non-binding and did not lead to a change in the law. Clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind argued in a paper that parents who are easily frustrated or inclined toward controlling behavior "should not spank", but that existing research did not support a "blanket injunction" against spanking.

She argues that the burden of proof should be high for advocates of corporal punishment as a disciplinary strategy, asserting that "unless and until researchers, clinicians, and parents can definitively demonstrate the presence of [beneficial] effects of corporal punishment [and] not just the absence of negative effects, we as psychologists cannot responsibly recommend its use".

A study at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill found that mothers who reported spanking their children were three times more likely to also report using forms of punishment considered abusive to the researchers "such as beating, burning, kicking, hitting with an object somewhere other than the buttocks, or shaking a child less than 2 years old" than mothers who did not report spanking.

Adam Zolotor, the study's lead author, noted that "increases in the frequency of spanking are associated with increased odds of abuse, and mothers who report spanking on the buttocks with an object—such as a belt or a switch—are nine times more likely to report abuse". Numerous studies have found increased risk of impaired child development from the use of corporal punishment. Joan Durrant and Ron Ensom write that "Together, results consistently suggest that physical punishment has a direct causal effect on externalizing behavior, whether through a reflexive response to pain, modeling, or coercive family processes".

However, one existing randomized controlled trial did demonstrate that a reduction in harsh physical punishment was followed by a significant drop in children's aggressive behavior. The few existing randomized controlled trials used to investigate physical punishment have shown that it is not more effective than other methods in eliciting children's compliance.

Gershoff suggests that corporal punishment may actually decrease a child's "moral internalization" of positive values. According to the study's leader, Catherine Taylor, this suggests that "it's not just that children who are more aggressive are more likely to be spanked.

A meta-analytic review by Gershoff that combined 60 years of research on corporal punishment found that corporal punishment was linked with nine negative outcomes in children, including increased rates of aggression, delinquency, mental health problems, problems in relationships with parents, and likelihood of being physically abused. According to Gershoff, the Conflict Tactics Scale is "the closest thing to a standard measure of corporal punishment". A meta analysis found that with child noncompliance and antisocial behavior, conditional spanking was favored over most other disciplinary tactics.

Including other measurements, customary spanking was found equal to other methods, and only overly severe or predominant usage was found unfavorable [42]. It was suggested that the apparently paradoxical effects are the result of statistical bias in typically used analysis methods, and thus relative comparisons are needed.

However, primary usage and severe usage were associated with negative outcomes, and mild spanking still carries the risk of potential escalation into harsh forms.

A study at the University of Manitoba indicated that people who reported being "pushed, grabbed, shoved, slapped or hit" even "sometimes" as children suffered more mood disorders , such as depression, anxiety, and mania, along with more dependence on drugs or alcohol in adulthood. Those who reported experiencing "severe physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical neglect, emotional neglect, or exposure to intimate partner violence" were not included in the results.

According to the researchers, the findings "provide evidence that harsh physical punishment independent of child maltreatment is related to mental disorders". Preliminary results from neuroimaging studies suggest that physical punishment involving the use of objects causes a reduction of grey matter in brain areas associated with performance on the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale [46] , as well as certain alterations to brain regions which secrete or are sensitive to the neurotransmitter dopamine , linked with a risk of drug and alcohol abuse.

Corporal punishment also has links with domestic violence. According to Gershoff, research indicates that the more corporal punishment children receive, the more likely they are as adults to act violently towards family members, including intimate partners.

Chris Ferguson employed an alternative statistical analysis found negative cognitive and behavioral effects in children subjected to spanking and corporal punishment, but found the overall relationship to be "trivial" or marginally so, and externalizing effects were differed by age.

However, Ferguson acknowledged this still indicates potential harmful outcomes and noted some limitations of his analysis, stating "On the other hand, there was no evidence from the current meta-analysis to indicate that spanking or CP held any particular advantages.

The pediatric division of the Royal Australasian College of Physicians has urged that physical punishment of children be outlawed in Australia, stating that is a violation of children's human rights to exempt them from protection against physical assault. They urge support for parents to use "more effective, non-violent methods of discipline". They assert that corporal punishment often promotes further undesirable behaviors such as defiance and attachment to "delinquent" peer groups and encourages an acceptance of aggression and violence as acceptable responses to conflicts and problems.

According to the Canadian Paediatric Society , "The research that is available supports the position that spanking and other forms of physical punishment are associated with negative child outcomes. The Canadian Paediatric Society, therefore, recommends that physicians strongly discourage disciplinary spanking and all other forms of physical punishment".

The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health of the United Kingdom opposes corporal punishment of children in all circumstances, stating that "it is never appropriate to hit or beat children". The American Academy of Pediatrics AAP has stated "parents, other caregivers, and adults interacting with children and adolescents should not use corporal punishment including hitting and spanking ".

They recommend that parents be "encouraged and assisted in the development of methods other than spanking for managing undesired behavior".

In their most recent policy statement on the matter, the AAP note "corporal punishment to an increased risk of negative behavioral, cognitive, psychosocial, and emotional outcomes for children. In the AAP's opinion, such punishments, as well as "physical punishment delivered in anger with intent to cause pain", are "unacceptable and may be dangerous to the health and well-being of the child.

The AAP believes that corporal punishment polarizes the parent-child relationship, reducing the amount of spontaneous cooperation on the part of the child. In their words, "[R]eliance on spanking as a discipline approach makes other discipline strategies less effective to use". The AAP believes that spanking as a form of discipline can easily lead to abuse , noting also that spanking children younger than 18 months of age increases the chance of physical injury.

The United States' National Association of Social Workers "opposes the use of physical punishment in homes, schools, and all other institutions where children are cared for and educated.

Paulo Pinheiro asserts that "The [UN study] should mark a turning point—an end to adult justification of violence against children, whether accepted as 'tradition' or disguised as 'discipline' [

Son still get spanked by dad

Son still get spanked by dad

Son still get spanked by dad